Rewriting a bulky line of dialog

What I’m working with now is a piece of dialog in my short script “WG”.

Apart from a few grammatical errors one line of dialog is my major problem, according to my feedback.

It is too bulky.

An important line is bulky!

You don’t want to have an important line bulky.

Lines that constitute an essential emotional turning point for the main character should be understood instantly.

How to achieve this?

One way is to slow things down. Instead of deliver a long line, another character can break in with a comment or a question, which give us – the audience – time to grasp what’s going on.

But this tends to be like getting the last toothpaste out of the tube: annoying. I mean, you want that perfect “punchline”; you don’t want to squeeeeze it out.

Another way – the hard way – is to rewrite the line until it sparkles.