When I’m at vacation with my family I try to turn off my writing mode.
There is simply no time write. And if I use brain capacity to think about writing and then not be able to write it, I just get into a bad (read horrible) mood. So I turn it off.
It is just my brain’s simple survival instinct.
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my vacation, but it feels like my brain is in some sort of standby-mode. I think, so therefore I exist, but I don’t really feel that I’m thinking. Yes, sure, on short term obstacles – like when I was left in the backseat of the car with childproof doors and a four-year-old with a need to go to the bathroom (no harm intended from my husband).
But the creative thoughts, the floating-aways, they are vacant.
Is this what a “normal” brain is like? A random brain from that anonymous mass of people who don’t paint, write, construct, act, compose or express themselves in some other way?
I read an article some time ago about a director/actress who was diagnosed with ADHD as a grown-up and got medications. She quit using them. Life simply became too boring. She said in the interview that it was interesting to experience how other people function, but she liked life better as it was.
As far as I know I don’t have any letter-malady, but I’ve understood that I have a creativity that is not “normal”, whatever that means.
When I’m not allowed to be creative my brain feels like it is in stand-by, not really on, not fully functional. And in the long run, it makes me feel vacant too.
Have you ever experienced the same?
Photo by Johntex, 2006.
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Image edited by the writer